Funny Thanksgiving Quotes

'I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.'
-Jon Stewart

'My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.'
-Phyllis Diller

'A lot of Thanksgiving days have been ruined by not carving the turkey in the kitchen.'
-Kin Hubbard

'Here I am 5 o'clock in the morning stuffing bread crumbs up a dead bird's butt.'
-Roseanne Barr

'Thanksgiving is America's national chow-down feast, the one occasion each year when gluttony becomes a patriotic duty.'
-Michael Dresser

'Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often.'
-Johnny Carson

'Thanksgiving is so called because we are all so thankful that it only comes once a year.'
-P. J. O'Rourke

'There is no sincerer love than the love of food.'
-George Bernard Shaw

'We're having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, we're having a swan. You get more stuffing.'
-George Carlin

'You can tell you ate too much for Thanksgiving when you have to let your bathrobe out.'
-Jay Leno

As we express gratitude this day
We must not forget about the turkey
Who also gave a life to be on this plate
So thanks to the wonderful turkey
And the pumpkin too
Happy Thanksgiving Day to you!

Each day as you thank for all the things
That you truly want and have in life
Each day as you thank for things you want
Things that make you happy
Today is the Thanksgiving Day
So thank big and wonderful today
Happy Thanksgiving Day!

Gift of faith it is this day
There is so much to do and say
Thank everyone around you
Thank your family and friends too
It's a great time this thanksgiving
Feel so special and loving too
Happy Thanksgiving Day to you!

I am so nervous I do not know
As I made my first turkey today
Feeling the fright on this day
But it will turn out well I know
Happy Thanksgiving Day to all
Who love the turkey and pumpkin pie!

I want to thank my parents on this day
My wife for everything she does
My children for always being there
My friends for all their support and care
But I want to thank the turkey the most
Because, it tastes so great this day
Happy Thanksgiving Day!

It is an emotional time I know
All the emotions left to show
Thanksgiving is a time to love
And have lots of food in store
Do not forget to thank all
Who made yummy thanksgiving dinner
For all
Happy Thanksgiving day to all!

It is truly an emotional time
When you find so many things in prime
People greeting people
Many people staying in line
Just to get that taste of the dinner
Just to get that vibe
Of thanksgiving
Happy Thanksgiving to all!

Let the stuffing of turkey be good
Let the pumpkin be great touch wood
Let the dinner turn out to be great
That is the reason thanksgiving is great
Happy thanksgiving to every one
Around and every where
It's a great time to thank all
Happy Thanksgiving Day to all!