Funny Christmas Quotes

"The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin."
- By Jay Leno

"You know you're getting old, when Santa starts looking younger.'
- Robert Paul

"Santa Claus wears a Red Suit, He must be a communist. And a beard and long hair, Must be a pacifist. What's in that pipe that he's smoking?"
- Arlo Guthrie

"Next to a circus there ain't nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit."
- Kin Hubbard

"It's the holiday season. Let the overeating begin!"
- Melanie White

"Anyone who believes that men are the equal of women has never seen a man trying to wrap a Christmas present."
- Author Unknown

"Let me see if I've got this Santa business straight. You say he wears a beard, has no discernible source of income and flies to cities all over the world under cover of darkness? You sure this guy isn't laundering illegal drug money?"
- Tom Armstrong