Humorous Christmas Quotes

People get really get worried
That they have gained weight between
Christmas and the new year
Actually they should worry about the
Period till the new year
When they actually have lots of stuff
Merry Christmas to you!

One fat man will come to you
Ring the bell of your door too
He would quietly put you in a bag
And bring you to me Christmas
Because I have told Santa
That I want you as my Christmas gift
So don't you panic on this!

"Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas."
- Johnny Carson

I think I will be the Santa this year
Every year I ask for many things
And end up getting nothing in my list
So I will sneak out of my room
And make my Christmas memorable
Enough for me too
It's the Christmas fun so lovely too
Merry Christmas to you!

"There is a remarkable breakdown of taste and intelligence at Christmastime. Mature, responsible grown men wear neck ties made of holly leaves and drink alcoholic beverages with raw egg yolks and cottage cheese in them."
- P.J. O'Rourke

Once again we will get excited
With season's choicest delights
And more excited about the Christmas lights
With shopping at heavy discounts
Finding the right price
Once again we will celebrate the
Christmas night,
Merry Christmas!

"Christmas is a race to see which gives out first - your money or your feet."
- Author Unknown