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Today is Valentine's Day - or, as men like to call it, Extortion Day!
- Jay Leno
I don't understand why Cupid was chosen to represent Valentine's Day. When I think about romance, the last thing on my mind is a short, chubby toddler coming at me with a weapon -Author Unknown
Valentine's Day: the holiday that reminds you that if you don't have a special someone, you're alone. -Lewis Black
I'm not trying to hit on you, or throw you a line. I just want you to be my Valentine. -Author Unknown
I wanted to make it really special on Valentine's Day, so I tied my boyfriend up. And for three solid hours I watched whatever I wanted on TV. -Tracy Smith
Gravitation can not be held responsible for people falling in love.
Valentine's Day is when a lot of married men are reminded what a poor shot Cupid really is. -Author Unknown
Valentine's day has gotten blown way out of proportion. Valentine's Day just used to be for your girlfriend or your wife but now everyone's like 'Oh, happy valentine's day!' I even got a Valentine's Day card from my grandmother. How ridiculous is that? We stopped having sex years ago! -Greg Giraldo
I have a dream, and a plan, to combine the commercial possibilities of Valentine's Day with the substance and meaning of black history month. I call it: Blackentine's Day. -Mo Rocca
Happy Valentine's Day! And if this is news to you, my guess is you're probably alone. Valentine's Day is often times a, well, it's a manufactured day that really doesn't mean anything. -Jon Stewart
I love Valentine's Day. When you're a kid everyone gets a Valentine. It's like 'TO TIM, NICE PANTS, LOVE SCOTT'. It's Valentines galore! -Mike Birbiglia
"Today is February 14th - St. Valentine's day. Women call it Love day, while men name it as extortion day."
"Happy Valentine's Day to all the couples, wish your love last forever and to all single people wish your batteries last forever."
Valentine's Day is for couples. All singles can enjoy themselves for rest of 364 days of the year.
If you feel sad that you stay alone during Valentine's day, just remember that nobody loves you on any of those other 355 days of the year.
What does my perfect Valentine's day look like? I am sitting at work with 5 cell phones in front of me and people are calling me every 10 minutes to buy one of the 50 reservations that I made in different restaurants.
Its good if you are alone this Valentine's Day
You would save a lot on this day
Just imagine you could spend so many dollars
Just to express what your heart wants to say
Be happy this valentine's day
Happy Valentine's Day to you!
Feel all glad and new!
14th Feb can be truly called as a day of love
A day when you can get cuddly
A day when you can just be
But that is for all the women
For men it's simply the extortion day
A day when they have to spend all day
Happy Valentine's Day!