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"Santa Claus wears a Red Suit, he must be a communist. And a beard and long hair, must be a pacifist. What's in that pipe that he's smoking?"
- Arlo Guthrie
"Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree. In the eyes of children, they are all 30 feet tall."
- Larry Wilde
Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree. In the eyes of children, they are all 30 feet tall.
- Larry Wilde
"Did you ever notice that life seems to follow certain patterns? Like I noticed that every year around this time, I hear Christmas music."
- By Tom Sims
"There are three stages of man: he believes in Santa Claus; he does not believe in Santa Claus; he is Santa Claus."
- Bob Phillips
"I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included."
- Bernard Manning
People really act weird at Christmas time! What other time of year do you sit in front of a dead tree in the living room and eat nuts and sweets out of your socks?
-Author Unknown
"The one thing women don't want to find in their stockings on Christmas morning is their husband."
- Joan Rivers
"Why is Christmas just like a day at the office? You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit."
- Author Unknown
"Next to a circus there ain't nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit."
- Kin Hubbard
"Santa Claus wears a Red Suit, He must be a communist. And a beard and long hair, Must be a pacifist. What's in that pipe that he's smoking?"
- Arlo Guthrie
"The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin."
- By Jay Leno