Funny Valentine's Day Quotes

It is such a nice feeling being in love
It's such a nice feeling celebrating valentines
With someone whose so close to you
And with someone whose going to annoy
You the rest of your life
Yes you heard that right my dear
Spread the love this valentines with cheer
Happy Valentine's Day to you!

People get excited to see
Feelings and love all around them
On Valentines Day that can be true,
But the best part is the box of chocolate
Which you get on confession and through
Haha..Happy valentines to you!

I wanted to make it really special on Valentine's Day, so I tied my boyfriend up. And for three solid hours I watched whatever I wanted on TV.
-Tracy Smith

What does my perfect Valentine's day look like? I am sitting at work with 5 cell phones in front of me and people are calling me every 10 minutes to buy one of the 50 reservations that I made in different restaurants.

Valentine's Day: the holiday that reminds you that if you don't have a special someone, you're alone.
-Lewis Black

True love in life is felt from heart
It does not require those blings
It does not require any flash bells
It does not require any flashcards in life
If it's true love in the heart
Then there is no sound in sight
Just felt from the heart
Happy Valentine's Day to you!

You have that charming smile to be
You have what it takes the thing to be
You have that smile on your face
And you have that charming grace
You have everything as perfect as can be
As good as I so want it to see
Alas! I wish I could just say this to you
Happy Valentine's Day to you!

I have a dream, and a plan, to combine the commercial possibilities of Valentine's Day with the substance and meaning of black history month. I call it: Blackentine's Day.
-Mo Rocca

Valentines is funny actually
The whole year people keep fighting
Couples fight so much being in love
And it's on valentine's day
That they express their love for each other
Just one day..ha-ha
Happy Valentine's Day to you!

A real confession made on valentines,
I swear I love you more than my dog
I swear I love you more than my sleep
Swear I love you so deep
I swear I love you more than my iPhone too
This is enough to prove my love for you
Wishing you a happy Valentine's Day!

I just want to confess one thing today
That you are my valentine for the day
Yes, I mean when I say
That I love you every way
So congrats on being my first repetitive valentine for the day
Wishing you a very happy Valentine's Day!

If you feel sad that you stay alone during Valentine's day, just remember that nobody loves you on any of those other 355 days of the year.

Words are not enough to describe my feelings for you
I think that my heart also wants to do
But, for now as the day is finally here
My face will have to do
With a hug and a lovely kiss
I simply love you
Wish you a happy Valentine's Day!

I don't understand why Cupid was chosen to represent Valentine's Day. When I think about romance, the last thing on my mind is a short, chubby toddler coming at me with a weapon
-Author Unknown

Gravitation can not be held responsible for people falling in love.
-Albert Einstein

Love is surely so blind in life
But marriage surely opens the eyes
Love gives the scent that smells good
But marriage is as hard as the wood
Love is a feeling that is felt from heart
And marriage everything is last
This valentine make your choice,
Happy Valentine's Day to you!

Valentine is the perfect time
To screw someone you love
Like there are many ways to annoy
And tell someone yes you love them
But it can also be so much of fun
Happy Valentine's Day to you!

Valentine's day has gotten blown way out of proportion. Valentine's Day just used to be for your girlfriend or your wife but now everyone's like 'Oh, happy valentine's day!' I even got a Valentine's Day card from my grandmother. How ridiculous is that? We stopped having sex years ago!
-Greg Giraldo